oh god the rape fog is back!
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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