it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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