did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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