hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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