I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Dick very happy bro
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
