You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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