bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
