i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
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