gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
