dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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