Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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