Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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