Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
