I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
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Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
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I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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