He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
