D3 body, D1 cock
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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