big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
