i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
