just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
