I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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