I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
