I want to have your abortion
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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