4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize