that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
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you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
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How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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