the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
