READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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