How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
