It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
