Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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