I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
