just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Let's paint friendship bongs
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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