I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
