If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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