We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
