I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
