Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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