peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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