Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize