If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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