i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
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