Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
