you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
