I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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