It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
