White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize