Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
