Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
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He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
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Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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