Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
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His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
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It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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