don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
