I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
