It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
