Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Damn victory sex feels great
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
