It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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